Why cant I be normal?

There are two types of binges that I have experienced in my life time.
1. The I'm craving "insert food here" so badly and I need it now, then end up eating everything out of guilt binge.
2. I'm so stressed, sad, upset, emotional, pmsing, etc, that I need to consume my body weight in junk food until I cant hear my thoughts anymore binge.
Today was number two and I beg the question... WHY CANT I BE NORMAL? Why can't I think like a normal teenage girl? When I am upset why can't I just cry? The only thing that tends to make me feel better is food. And lots of it. My brain becomes overwhelmed with thoughts until I can't handle it any more and I give in, so disappointing.
So a little bit of back round for todays story, I've been working as a chiropractors assistant this past month and I haven't really been enjoying myself. It's just not for me. So when I got offered a job at a super cute boutique of course I was ecstatic. I told my boss about my decision to leave and he was furious. I basically got a new ass hole ripped into my body as he bitched me out for all the time and money I have wasted this past month. And how immature I am for wanting to work retail instead of a full time job that could potentially land me a career. I calmly explained to him that it would be very hard for me to finish school and have down time on the schedule that I am on now and he very sternly told me he has no more use for me, to clock out, and turn in my scrubs. I was shocked and angry. I knew I had to keep myself busy when I got home of course or else my compulsive thoughts about food would take over my brain and I would turn into a mindless zombie eating everything I could. With the weather being warm enough I started to clean my car. And yet still I was angry and just wanted food. I tried to talk myself down but in my zombie state I consumed ( warning if the names of food make you crave them intensely I would navigate away from this sentence. ) half of a large pizza and entire tube of cookies, potato chips and pancakes. Now this binge is no where near the size of my old binges from months ago but none the less I had a full belly and needed to empty it. Here comes the worst part, the purging. I wont go into detail about how awful and wearing it is on the body to make yourself vomit over and over to get everything out of your system that you just consumed, but today seemed even worse. It was just harder to get everything up and I am so exhausted. But somehow it always seems worth it or else I wouldn't keep resorting to binging and purging. Tomorrow if I feel the need to binge again I think I will try talking to you, my readers, before hand instead of after. Every day is a day to be celebrated but a day that I don't binge, now that's an exciting thought. Until tomorrow - SOYG XOXO